Kitty Wants To Have A Garage Sale (Kids E book)
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They manage to get rid of all the bats, but not without trashing the house in the process. Francis tries to cheer up a recently dumped fellow cadet by taking him to a strip club, then an illegal cockfight, where they run into a mishap with the locals.
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Malcolm fakes an emotional breakdown in order to get out of the Krelboyne class' Medieval Week. Hal and Lois clean out a packed closet and find that it is actually a second bathroom with a functional toilet. They decide to keep the secret and repack it so the boys won't find out. Dewey reveals a hidden talent for table skittles , but his talent disappears as soon as Hal tries to show it off.
Francis starts laundry duty at military school. He is good at it, but then becomes greedy and starts a business and blackmail. The other cadets soon get revenge on Francis by ruining the detergent and allow him to be busted by Spangler. Malcolm gets a role in a high school play and starts blowing off his friends to spend more time with his new high school friends.
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Caroline gives birth in the school parking lot when the Krelboynes' model rocket launch goes awry. At the play, the constant exposure to the high-school gossip causes Malcolm to forget his lines and allows the Krelboynes to get their revenge on him for it. After being beaten by a girl in a wrestling match, Reese relinquishes his role as the school bully, which allows other kids to pick on Malcolm.
This also makes it open season for all of the up-and-coming bullies in school, who make everyone's lives even more miserable.
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However, Reese returns when they enter the off-limit zone picking on Stevie, who is wheelchair bound. Francis tries to come home from military school for his birthday to avoid a brutal birthday hazing ritual of having his whole body shaved. Malcolm must help care for a cranky old woman, Mrs. Griffin Florence Stanley , because he broke her arm. He becomes friendly with her, until one day, she passes out from alcohol. He invites his friends over to joyride in her car, but they pass next to Lois, panicking Malcolm.
Griffin covers for Malcolm, for a small price he has to pay. Francis' friend Richie is sent to the military academy, and falls prey to Commandant Spangler's manipulations. Francis has his cadet friends beat Richie up in an attempt to make him see Spangler for who he is.
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Meanwhile, Reese tries to convince and force Dewey to use a regular backpack instead of a purse. Malcolm's class has a new student named Cynthia Tania Raymonde , and it quickly becomes clear that she has a crush on him. Malcolm doesn't know how to react about this, panicking about a new love, and ends up throwing a brick through her window in the middle of the night.
She is mad at first but ends up forgiving him.
New neighbors move in next to Malcolm's family, and the two families hate each other. The father quickly becomes best friends with Hal and they must keep their friendship a secret. One of the neighbors' kids is a pathological liar who makes everyone else think that Malcolm is a Peeping Tom , leading Malcolm to seek revenge by framing him for theft. However, during the execution of their plan, they catch the wife of the family in the hot tub cheating on her husband, humiliating the family and forcing them to move.
Hal quits his job after a disastrous career day at Dewey's school, and spends his free time to a huge painting in a garage which is never shown on-screen. He drives himself crazy adding more and more layers to the painting until it collapses onto him. Francis reluctantly works at the Lucky Aide over spring break when they need extra people to take inventory. Malcolm questions his future profession after an aptitude test reveals that he could do any job on the planet.
Lois' parents Victor Robert Loggia and Ida Cloris Leachman come for a visit and don't seem to approve of anyone in the family except Reese. Hal buys a new refrigerator thinking Victor is going to reimburse him for it, but Victor changes his mind. Victor also gives Reese a case of his old weapons from World War II , but Reese pulls the pin and Victor breaks the handle off a live grenade, so Malcolm throws it in the new fridge to keep it from destroying the house, blowing up the fridge in the process.
Hal gives Victor and Ida an ultimatum; if they do not compensate for the destroyed fridge, he will call the police. Lois is cited for reckless driving, and arrested due to several outstanding parking tickets earned by Francis. She orders Francis to pay off the fines or else never come back home, which leads Francis to try a dangerous stunt for money, injuring himself in the process. Lois disputes the reckless driving citation, believing the officer has a personal grudge against her.
When security camera footage shows that Lois was wrong,she has an emotional meltdown over being wrong for the first time in her life, but then becomes more easygoing, to the point tells Framcis to use the money he earned to come home for a weekend. Craig finds a security camera from a different angle showing that Lois was not at fault after all, but Hal and the boys destroy the tape and warn Craig to remain silent.
Malcolm is hospitalized with side pains and is diagnosed with appendicitis. He is scheduled for surgery until he manages to prove the diagnosis wrong and must suffer the consequences when his parents find out. The rest of the family obsesses over a board game called March and Conquer a fictional version of Risk , which they usually don't play since Malcolm always beats them all in a few moves.
Francis and the cadets go on a hunger strike after Commandant Spangler takes away their television. After another destructive prank by Reese, Hal and Lois find themselves struggling to discipline him as he shrugs off at any attempts at punishment. Trying a different angle, Hal forces Reese to attend a culinary class only for Reese to discover a remarkable talent for cooking.
In the class' cooking contest, Reese is found to have cheated by putting foul-tasting ingredients in the other contestants' foods. Hal punishes him by forbidding him to cook, satisfied that he has finally found a punishment that works. Cynthia organizes a "Be My Friend" party for everyone at the school, but Malcolm is worried that she's setting herself up for disappointment and tries to stop her.
Instead, a lot of people show up to the party, much to Malcolm's horror. At Marlin Academy, Eric tries to force Francis to do his half of a major project they are both responsible for, but Francis keeps getting distracted by the smallest things until Eric threatens Spangler on him. Malcolm tutors Reese to improve his lousy grades and avoid him getting sent to the school's remedial class by his teacher Mr.
Woodward Dave "Gruber" Allen but he keeps getting Fs, no matter how much he studies. Malcolm secretly takes Reese's big test, and when it earns another F, he realizes that Woodward has been constantly failing Reese regardless of accuracy in order to convince the school administrators that Reese should be reassigned to the school's remedial class.
Francis has been kicked out for refusing to re-shingle the roof and lives in the basement of his friend Richie's house. When Mr. Woodward calls to give Lois and Hal the paperwork to reassign Reese to the remedial class, Malcolm exposes him, but also his own cheating. Woodward points out that telling school administrators would get Malcolm expelled from school, but Lois responds that she would gladly sacrifice Malcolm to save Reese because she knows whatever happens Malcolm will be all right. In the end Francis, Reese, Malcolm and Woodward are all forced to re-shingle the roof together.
In this Sliding Doors -style story, the viewer simultaneously sees what happens when the boys go bowling with Hal and what happens when they go bowling with Lois. In both versions, Malcolm and Reese go to bowl, while Dewey stays at home for killing the neighbor's parakeet , with one of the parents guarding him. Alex McKenna guest stars. Francis bribes Malcolm and Reese with just one extra ticket to a wrestling match, forcing them to humiliate themselves and do all his chores to win it.
However, Francis betrays them both by taking a girl Cerina Vincent. Reese and Malcolm exact revenge on him by stealing his driver's license, reporting the family car as stolen to the police, and tying themselves up in the trunk, getting Francis arrested. Dewey is hired to watch Craig's cat, Jellybean, but he loses the cat. Hal and Lois come to help but they make things worse.
Craig moves in with the family after they burn his house down to get rid of the cats. Craig drives the family insane while living with them. The boys buy a used moped and fix it up, only to have Lois confiscate it. Reese takes the bike out anyway and crashes it, twisting and breaking his leg. Malcolm tricks Craig into believing he ran over Reese. Even though Lois eventually finds out the truth, she does not punish them because their scheme traumatized Craig into leaving the house.
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Reese and Malcolm plan with Stevie to sneak into the carnival fair that is in town. However, Dewey spies on them and blackmails them into taking him. They all sneak off to the county fair together, but they arrive as the fair is closing and end up being locked in and chased by a security guard. Hal and Lois were going to spend the entire evening having sex until Stevie's parents showed up and they all discovered that their sons lied. They search various places around town and eventually find them at the Tri County Fair.
The four are punished by having to walk back home. As Hal and Dewey are driving an old couch to the city dump, the couch falls onto nearby railroad tracks and causes a massive accident when a train transporting toxic waste strikes the couch and derails. While Hal tries to make up to society, Malcolm was late coming home from school, so Lois forces him to stay on his designated cot in the gym. Dewey convinces other people that he is an orphan in order to get what he wants, and Reese starts running a black market when he realizes that everyone there is in need of basic supplies.
At the end, Malcolm gets fed up and stands up to Lois, Reese's black market is discovered, and Dewey reveals his and Hal's scheme in front of the crowd. The Army forces Hal, Dewey, Lois and Reese to spend the night on the bench outside without moving from it, with Malcolm enjoying his freedom. Eric takes Francis out on a blind double date, but Francis' date turns out to be twelve. However, Francis has a better time with the girl than Eric has with his own date.
While Hal worries and argues with Lois over the possibility of her being pregnant again since she is two weeks late with her period, the two look back at the memories of their children's births. Francis was born during Hal and Lois' wedding, Reese was born prematurely because Lois pushed him out when he kicked too hard, Malcolm was born in the front yard because Lois had to drive to the hospital and Francis locked her out of the car, and Dewey was born in the backyard in the rain because Malcolm had accidentally filled the house with chlorine gas.
Dewey, who has been listening to his parents, is happy that they are not arguing anymore, because he thought they would get a divorce.
Lois is revealed not to be pregnant and wishes she had a girl. Malcolm's family and the Kenarbans vacation together on a houseboat. Lois scolds Malcolm for nearly ruining Hal's life, and forces him to make amends by going fishing with Hal. Reese and Stevie hang out with sex-starved girls from a cheerleader camp. Malcolm soon becomes annoyed with spending time fishing with Hal, and sees some bras and Reese's shirt float past the boat, causing him to throw Hal overboard and rush the boat to the girls' camp. Dewey has an increasingly bad time, ending with Reese and Stevie leaving him on a buoy to become severely sunburnt.